By Marjorie A. Gordon-DeLee, MA (Revised November 28, 2018)
First and foremost, as women, if we are going to be effective Businesswomen in society, we must first be able to get along with each other as women. We must stop being jealous and catty with one another. We must be sincere in all of our business dealings and communication with one another. Having a fake or phony disposition is not good business etiquette.
Business etiquette is a set of manners that is accepted or required in a profession. Often upheld by custom, it is enforced by the members of an organization. Those who violate business etiquette are considered offensive. The penalty for such behavior frequently lies in the disapproval of other organization members.
Business etiquette is important because it creates a professional, mutually respectful atmosphere and improves communication, which helps an office serves as a productive place. People feel better about their jobs when they feel respected, and that translates into better customer relationships as well (GCF Global).
We must stop sizing each other up as women in terms of what each other is wearing and making that the main focus of one’s determination as to whether we approve of or like the other woman. This type of mindset should not be brought into the workplace or in one’s personal life on any occasion.
Research asserts that:
Is it true that most women "compete “and do not like each other? If so, why? Indeed, it has frequently been proposed that females attach considerable importance to the appearance and physical attractiveness of themselves and members of their own gender in a manner that is not paralleled in males (Fenichel, 1953; Friday, 1977; Mitchell, 1936; Reich, 1945; Schopenhauer, 1970); and presumably this concern is based on insecurity, which in turn gives rise to feelings of dislike (Joseph,1985).
We all must take a long hard look within ourselves and determine if we possess the type of qualities required to be an effective leader in the business world. Accordingly, our positions as women leaders in business interactions extend further than the realms of our organization’s walls with our co-workers. Our business dealings and connections also extend to the customers in which we serve internally; to other businesses and organizations affiliated with the business in which we are employed, and; with other women and men in the business industry in other states.
We live in a global community; therefore, our business relations extend throughout this entire world with many ethnic races and cultures. With that said, we must develop ourselves to become known as to what is appropriate when conducting business with such a diverse group of people in every instance. Constant personal development is essential for this ever-changing world if we want to thrive and be successful. If one does not take the time to personally develop themselves in an area where they know that they are lacking in knowledge and skills, that individual will get left behind in their advancement as women in business, thereby limiting one’s professional growth.
Extracted from IQ Matrix are comments on improving yourself:
The idea of Constant and Never-Ending Improvement (CANI) was first introduced by Anthony Robbins. It effectively means to commit yourself to lifelong learning. In other words, you are committing to improving yourself each and every day of your life in every area of your life, i.e. your health, business, thinking, finances, relationships, career, etc.
No longer is a high school and college education enough, we must now commit ourselves to keep learning, growing and developing ourselves beyond organized education. Only in this way will we provide ourselves with the opportunities required to help us create a successful, happy and fulfilling life for ourselves and for our families. (Sicinski, n.d.)
Additionally, women in leadership roles are on the rise and if we want to be in a position to compete with other women, we must possess the business etiquette, qualifications, and skills that are required to compete. In so many instances, many women are jealous and catty with one another because they know deep down that they do not possess the skills and qualifications for a position and will not take the time to invest in themselves for self-development. Thus, it makes them lash out with poor mannerism. This type of temperament as a woman in the business industry is not desirable by employers and any woman who possesses this type of personality must make changes if they want to grow both, as an individual and professional.
An excerpt from Forbes states:
“In thinking about what makes a truly great leader, it’s a commitment to prepare for every meeting, conversation and interaction; the ability to listen, digest and respond with speed; making precise decisions on eliminating toxic people from your world; and the ability to embrace learning” (Levine, 2017).
Moreover, some other areas that can be practiced on the job to excel are:
Work Ethics, Integrity, and Values It is extremely important to possess good work ethics. This mean that you are working from the time you sit at your desk until your shift ends for the day. For me, I often worked overtime, took work home with me in the evenings and on the weekends when I worked on a project in which I wanted to really be detailed with. However, that is not important to do if you have not the time with family involvement at home.
Work Ethic and Character
Some people could care less about their work product. They slap together a report haphazardly or do the least amount of work they can just to get their paycheck. Instead of displaying a positive work ethic and character by taking personal pride in their work, they only do what is required of them and no more. People with solid work ethic and character take responsibility for the work they do. They demonstrate a willingness to not only ensure the job is done, but also accept responsibility for the results -- good or bad. They take their assigned duties seriously and go the extra mile to make sure the work is the best that it can be. When you have character and are accountable, you recognize that the quality of your work is also a representation of you (Brenner, n.d.).
Integrity also mean a lot as leaders in the world of business. How can you say that you are a leader when you are doing despicable things to the people you are to lead and to the public that you service? As late as yesterday, I had the most unwelcomed mean hateful attack from a leader in a public office along with another female member. Two high ranking women behaving in this manner. What has this world come to when leaders are not performing their jobs with integrity? Many women in business must do a better job in their positions of leadership if this world is going to be made a better place to live in. Those women who engaged in this type of behavior in their position as leaders, has no business being in these positions. They are not good role models at all and are there not to help in this society but to cripple society with their antics. Let the truth be told.
According to the Collins Dictionary online, "if you have integrity, you are honest and firm in your moral principles."
Personal integrity is an inborn moral conviction to do what is right, and reject that which is wrong, regardless of the consequences that are attached to their decisions.
Integrity comes in many forms, but the most important traits that are expected at the workplace are dependability, honesty, loyalty and good judgement (Miles, 2017).
Further:
Lead by Example - This sets a firm foundation for what you value most and how you want to work. By seeing you working by the same standards and expectations, it encourages others to follow suit (Miles, 2017)
Be honest and truthful on all that you do on the job. It is your reputation that is involved when you are not performing up to par on any work in life that you engage in. This is how you build your work references and character references; by employers you work with, your co-workers, and the business associates and colleagues encountered during the course of all employment. You want to protect your name (your reputation); that you are a person who possess good, solid, work ethics, practice honesty and integrity at all times on the job. Your reputation is your behaviors on and off the job. Your character.
Our working definition of personal reputation in organizations is the extent to which individuals are perceived by others, over time, as performing their jobs competently, and being helpful towards others in the workplace. This builds upon previous work characterizing reputations in the workplace by work-related behavior and personal characteristics that others perceive over time, with emphasis on the performance and character dimensions (Ferris, Blass, Douglas, Kolodinsky, & Treadway, 2003; Zinko, Ferris, Blass, & Laird, 2007). We do not suggest that performance and character represent the only possible dimensions of personal reputation. However, prior theory and research has indicated that these two might provide high-order dimensions that serve as initial representative characterizations of the personal reputation construct domain (Zinko, Ferris, Humphrey, Meyer, and Federico, 2012).
Communication We, as women, must learn how to work together by communicating effectively by also being effective listeners. We must be open-minded to what the other person has to say and be able to articulate the message back with a calm, professional and logical response. We can all have great ideas but what is most important is how can we give two great ideas consideration and then creatively develop the best suitable idea to solve a problem. Working together harmoniously with open minds, being active listeners is extremely important.
Here are 10 steps to effective listening from Forbes Magazine (Schilling, 2012):
1. Face the Speaker and maintain eye contact
2. Be attentive, but relaxed
3. Keep an open-mind
4. Listen to the words and try to picture what the speaker is saying
5. Don’t interrupt and don’t impose your solutions
6. Wait for the speaker to pause to ask clarifying questions
7. Ask questions only to ensure understanding
8. Try to feel what the speaker is feeling
9. Give the speaker regular feedback
10. Pay attention to what isn’t said—to nonverbal cues.
Self-Development If you have all the degrees that you want and have no desire to return to college; then invest in self-help books that will make you a better communicator, speaker, writer, or learn a new software. But you should continuously learn something new to develop your minds.
Tyler Leslie (2016) provides three ways that self-improvement can change your life:
1. It presents you with new opportunities
2. It increases your self-esteem to new levels
3. It can help you become a better version of yourself
Writing Skills This is another area of major concern. With technology on today, many people have refrain from actively performing handwritten work. This is another area that can be practiced during pastime at home. Your penmanship says quite a lot about you. Once thing that I have notice over my years by many of the handwritings that I have observed (other than doctors) is that people are not putting in the time to practice their writing. If you dedicate 10 minutes to practice printing your name or writing in cursive, you will see great improvement. If you are unable to write in cursive, then you will not be able to read historical records written in cursive. So that is why your writing is such a big deal.
This past summer, Tennessee state Rep. Sheila Butt got a call from a mother who said she wanted to talk about her son, a junior in high school. The woman explained that her son’s history teacher was writing homework assignments on the board in cursive—and her son couldn’t read them. Butt did some digging and found similar problems across the state. “We had students not able to read, nor write their signature, in cursive writing … That was unbelievable to me,” she said in February. “To say that we’ve educated children in Tennessee and taken away this form of instruction, this link to our heritage out of classrooms, is a grave disservice” (Steinmetz, 2014).
Also, in business, we must refrain from using text language in our business letters and emails. Words must be spelled out as they are spelled in the Webster Dictionary.
Accountability When we are hired with an organization or company in a certain position to perform the function of that job, we are accountable for getting the job done. What is entailed in getting the job done is to put in the required time to completely finish a task that is satisfactory to your employer? To arrive at work on time each morning and return from lunch on time as well.
Responsibility and Accountability
When you are hired for a job, your manager provides you a list of your duties, also known as responsibilities. She'll tell you that it is your job to ensure the tasks on the list are completed when due. While you can be assigned a variety of responsibilities, whether or not you are accountable depends on your character. A person who demonstrates accountability takes the hit if she doesn't complete the task on schedule. When you refuse to be accountable, you'll place the blame on someone else for the project's failure (Brenner, n.d.).
Every organization has a mission statement and goals that must be achieved. In order to achieve those goals, we are hired, as employees in our positions, to assist the employer in achieving the organization’s goals by doing the jobs we were hired to do by being responsible employees and accountable for our actions when the job is not completed as required. Always ask questions when you do not have an understanding, when you lack understanding of a project or at office meetings. Better to ask the question, or to get the project completely wrong, costing the employer production time and money.
However, it is also good to research information for yourself if you desire a greater understanding. In doing so, you will gain and retain so much more background on the given subject or topic.
Procrastination In being an effective leader, one cannot be a procrastinator. The time that one donates to work should be productive all throughout the day. Start each day with an agenda in mind (a to-do list). This list should be created at the end of the day before leaving work so that one will have a set plan established upon arrival at work.
The number one item on the “To-do” list may change upon arrival at work to having to take care of a task that is more pressing. When a change in tasks has to be made, take care of priorities first. Wasted time at work does not generate success, achievement, nor accomplishments. Therefore, use all time wisely on the job by generating finished products, projects, and improving the culture of the organization by one’s own change in business etiquette as well. All of these actions create a great leader as a woman in a business leadership role.
Work extends to home as well. Use all of your time wisely, taking care of the home and family responsibility and engaging in activities in your free time at home to further develop your professional skills. Never put off until tomorrow what can be done on today.
Is Procrastination the Same as Being Lazy?
Procrastination is often confused with laziness, but they are very different.
Procrastination is an active process – you choose to do something else instead of the task that you know you should be doing. In contrast, laziness suggests apathy, inactivity and an unwillingness to act.
Procrastination usually involves ignoring an unpleasant, but likely more important task, in favor of one that is more enjoyable or easier.
But giving in to this impulse can have serious consequences. For example, even minor episodes of procrastination can make us feel guilty or ashamed. It can lead to reduced productivity and cause us to miss out on achieving our goals.
If we procrastinate over a long period of time, we can become demotivated and disillusioned with our work, which can lead to depression and even job loss, in extreme cases (Mind Tools).
Assisting Co-Workers Always be open to helping a co-worker with an assignment that may have a deadline or simply because he or she has work overload. In practicing this behavior, you are not only showing that you are a team player, but you can also learn a new skill without having to actually take a course in learning it. There are perks also is helping others and giving of your time. Also, after you have learned this new skill, it can also be added on your resume as a skill that you have experience in performing.
Sara McCord (2015) shares 3 ways in an article she wrote on supporting coworkers:
1. Learn something new.
“As soon as you step outside of your workload and volunteer to help your colleagues, you’re opening up the door to new insights.”
2. Get help when you need it.
“You know what it’s like to pushup against a deadline with no idea how you’re going to meet it. But if you had a coworker (or two) lend a hand, it would make all the difference.”
3. Grow your teamwork skills.
In “The Real Benefits of Being a Team Player”, Martin Yates shares the five traits involved in being a “team player”. He suggests you:
Always cooperate.
Always make decisions based on team goals.
Always keep team members informed.
Always keep commitments.
Always share credit, never blame. (McCord, 2015)
Customer Service When providing customer service (to co-workers or the public), always ensure that you are providing the best quality of service to that individual. Greet the person with a welcoming smile and not a frown. People will not feel so threatened by you, as the employee, if you are welcoming their presence and showing them that you are there for them to help them with whatever service that they came into your office to take care of.
Here are a few customer service tips for identifying ways to better serve customers:
1. Strengthen your customer service skills
First, it’s important to make sure that your customer service team has the right skills for your managing customers’ needs. No amount of CRM software can compensate for shortcomings in this area. But what skills should you be looking for in a customer service rep?
Empathy, patience and consistency. Some customers will be irate. Others will be full of questions. And others will just be chatty. You must know how to handle all of them and provide the same level of service every time.
Adaptability. Every customer is different, and some may even seem to change week-to-week. You should be able to handle surprises, sense the customer’s mood and adapt accordingly. This also includes a willingness to learn– providing good customer service is a continuous learning process.
Clear communication. Ensure you convey to customers exactly what you mean. You don’t want your customer to think he’s getting 50% off when he’s actually getting 50% more product. Use authentically positive language, stay cheerful no matter what and never end a conversation without confirming the customer is satisfied.
Work ethic. Customers appreciate a rep who will see their problem through to its resolution. At the same time, you must have good time management skills and not spend too much time handling one customer while others are waiting. Stay focused on your goals to achieve the right balance.
Knowledge. Ultimately your customers rely on you for their knowledge of your product. Stay informed enough to respond to most inquiries and know where to turn if the questions become too detailed or technical for you to answer. But don’t be afraid to say “I don’t know” either. Customers will appreciate the honesty and your efforts to find the right answer.
Thick skin. The customer’s always right… right? The ability to swallow one’s pride and accept blame or negative feedback is crucial. Whether your team works directly with customers or looking for feedback on social media, they’ve got to keep the customer’s happiness in mind (SurveyMonkey).
When you are helping someone that you know well from the community or frequently visits your office, never become so comfortable or relaxed with that person to the extent that you fail in practicing your business etiquette. Each person needs to be served on professional terms when you are helping that individual, no matter how well you know them. Remember, practice makes perfect. And if you want to be that woman leader in the business that excels, then, as a woman, you must put in the time and effort to develop yourself and practice, practice, practice until that in which you have learned becomes a part of you, who you are.
Dress Code
Please get to know your organization or company dress code. This is extremely important. If your organization or company dress codes states that no sandals, flip-flops, sneakers, blue jeans, open toe shoes are allowed, you should know this. If these items of clothing are allowed, but on specified days, then you should know that as well. Do not base your clothes selection for work on what you see another co-worker wearing. Read the company or organization handbook for yourself.
Many times, we sabotage our own growth by the attire we wear to work. My belief, as I have learned and practiced throughout life, is to dress for the job that I want to get. If you see yourself in a certain position, then start to dress the part, on and off the job. If you have a desire to dress professionally every day and no one else is, that is your choice to do. Never allow other women to make you feel bad by dressing professionally so that you can fit in with the crowd.
Research below also states the importance of “Dressing for Success”:
Throughout your lifetime you may have heard the phrases “dress for success” or “dress for the job you want, not the one you have”, but how can donning on a suit or smart attire make you successful? Well, science says if you want to be smarter, dress better. And it's not just superficial. Slip on a tailored suit, fine shoes, and perhaps a bespoke shirt, and it will transform you - it just feels good.
Recently, scientists from Columbia University and Cal State Northridge published a study that examines how clothing may affect one's thoughts. The results found wearing formal clothes can free people from concrete thinking while boosting their ability to think more practically.
10 Reasons to Dress for Success
1. Science Says so.
2. First Impressions Count
3. Promotes Self-respect
4. Boosts self-confidence
5. It draws the right kind of attention
6. It’s a step to overall self-improvement
7. It will keep you productive
8. It shows your attention to detail
9. Competitive edge
10. It’s fun (Devine, 2015)
Greeting co-workers and customers
If you, as women, want to excel as a leader in business and want to have the ability to compete with other women and men throughout the country for leadership roles; those who greet people by any name other than their given names at birth are not practicing business etiquette. As established earlier, “Business etiquette is important because it creates a professional, mutually respectful atmosphere and improves communication” (GCF Global).
Such name-calling as a baby, sweetie, honey, darling, etc. to co-workers, customers, and businesswomen and men whilst conducting business is inappropriate. We must behave with professional mannerism at all times and show respect to the other person. Although many people will not address the fact that they dislike being called baby, sweetie, honey, darling, etc., I personally see it as demeaning as a woman in business; as I have been told by countless other men and women who have voiced their concerns to me in business that they too find being called these terms of endearment offensive as well.
Example provided from the blog page of Donna Harris, a Real Estate Agent:
Honey, Hun, Sugar, Baby, Sweetie Pie, Dear, etc... these are all words that flow off some people's lips. They don't flow off mine. Nor do I appreciate being called these names. Never have, probably never will. I've been trying to use "Sweetie" or "Baby" on my 15-week (tomorrow) baby, and the words sound funny. I stick to "Pretty Girl" and "Happy Girl".
I received a call from an agent a couple of days ago, asking about one of my listings. Every sentence started with "Hun". Hun? I'm not your Hun. I'm a "Colleague". I run a business and I expect to be spoken to in a business way.
I went through college waiting tables and bartending. People would call me Sugar or Honey or any of the above-mentioned words, and I would turn around and say, "As I said, my name is Donna. If you need anything, just let me know."
To me, the words sound degrading. I understand that some people have used those words their entire life and don't perceive the words in the same manner, but please listen to yourself talk and ask yourself if it sounds professional to speak to other adults in a business setting (not personal setting) in that manner.
My name is Donna. It's not Honey, it's not Sugar, it's not Baby... my sister in law is "Sweetie" since my brother has forgotten her name, and my parents and I just roll our eyes every time he says it. We remind him that her name is Kathy, but he doesn't get the joke. I dated a guy once who called me "Precious" and all I could think about was my Grandparents' dog named Precious. Blah!
Are there other words that people say that bother you while trying to maintain a business conversation (Harris, 2008)?
It does not matter if you have had a practice of calling other people by these terms of endearment for years. Not everyone appreciates it, especially in the business world, it is unprofessional.
Attorney Karen Michael (2015), who practice Labor Law in Richmond, Virginia had some comments on this unprofessional issue in the workplace as well which are stated in the quotes that follow:
“The use of nickname alone usually does not result in successful litigation. It’s the nickname coupled with other actions that lead a jury to believe that the individual or organization most likely engaged in the actions that led to a hostile environment”.
For example, Regina Clemmer, who worked for the court system in Illinois, sued one of the judges who she said made inappropriate comments to her, including calling her “honey” or “dear” approximately 20 to 25 times, in addition to telling her she was “beautiful” “Look[ed] great,” or looked “good,” the same number of times.
Additional comment made by Attorney Michael (2015):
“There are several reasons to prohibit nicknames, terms of endearment and name calling. Ultimately, no nickname or term of endearment is appropriate at work.
First, it’s condescending and demeaning to use a nickname or term of endearment. When someone calls another “honey”, “sweetie” or “baby,” that person is relaying a level of disrespect.
If you wouldn’t call your CEO that name, don’t say it to or about your colleagues.
In addition, nicknames and terms of endearment are too familiar and unprofessional (Michael, 2015).
Reference
Brenner, L. (n.d.). What it means to be responsible and accountable in the workplace. Retrieved November 28, 2018 from https://woman.thenest.com/means-responsible-accountable-workplace-11051.html
Devine, G. (2015). 10 Reasons to Dress for Success. Retrieved November 28, 2018 from https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/10-reasons-dress-success-gerard-devine/
GCF Global. (n.d.) Retrieved November 27, 2018, from https://edu.gcfglobal.org/en/jobsuccess/business-etiquette/1/
Harris, D. (2008). Honey Sugar Sweetie Baby…Watch what you call people. Retrieved on November 28, 2018 from https://activerain.com/blogsview/399224/honey-sugar-sweetie-baby----watch-what-you-call-people
Joseph, R. G., (1985). Competition Between Women. Retrieved on November 27, 2017 from http://brainmind.com/Competition.html
Leslie, T. (2016). Success. 3 ways self-improvement can change your life. Retrieved November 28, 2018 from https://www.success.com/3-ways-self-improvement-can-change-your-life/
Levine, S. R. (2017). Embrace change or get left behind. Retrieved November 28, 2018 from https://www.forbes.com/sites/forbesinsights/2017/11/28/embrace-change-or-get-left-behind/#67d7e1f0b92b
McCord, S. (2015). 3 ways supporting your coworkers can advance your career. Retrieved on November 28, 2018 from https://mashable.com/2015/10/15/coworkers-advance-career/#wW_qmtHpCuqa
Michael, K. (2005). Labor Law: Avoid name calling, nicknames and terms of endearment. Retrieved November 28, 2018 from https://www.richmond.com/business/learning-center/labor-law-avoid-name-calling-nicknames-and-terms-of-endearment/article_b8edd239-9cc8-5c34-8209-6fb4ce8657b6.html
Miles, K. (2017). The importance of integrity in the workplace. Retrieved on November 28, 2018 from https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/importance-integrity-workplace-kathy-miles/
Mind Tools. How to stop procrastinating. Overcoming the habit of delaying important tasks. Retrieved November 28, 2018 from https://www.mindtools.com/pages/article/newHTE_96.htm
Sicinski, A. (n.d.). Why becoming a lifelong learner is no longer an option? Retrieved November 28, 2018 from https://blog.iqmatrix.com/lifelong-learner
Steinmetz, K. (2014). Five Reasons Kids Should Still Learn Cursive Writing. Retrieved November 27, 2018 from http://time.com/2820780/five-reasons-kids-should-still-learn-cursive-writing/
SurveyMonkey. Retrieved November 28, 2018 from https://www.surveymonkey.com/mp/6-keys-improving-teams-customer-service-skills/
Zinko, R., Ferris, G. R., Humphrey, S. E., Meyer, C. J., and Federico, A. (2012). Personal reputation in organization; Two-study constructive replication and extension of antecedents and consequences. Retrieved November 28, 2018 from http://test.scripts.psu.edu/users/s/e/seh25/ZinkoFerrisHumphreyMeyerAime2012.pdf
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