By Marjorie A. Gordon-DeLee, MA January 14, 2019
Men are all the time talking about the character and behavior of women and how they are a flirt, a tease, a cheater, they are no good, and so forth. What about the man who does not put any value on his own life? The man that does nothing to improve himself beyond high school or college for that fact. He can be a college graduate with a piece of paper in his hand and that is it. Maybe he drifted through college playing mind games with the professors or leaning on girls on campus to do his work for him, whereas he had no gains in his intellectual knowledge, nor in becoming a real or better man; or male role model figure for the young boys to follow. They never grow up and remain with the mindset that men are to rule over women and keep them at bay and under their feet. It does not matter who the woman is. They never allow the woman to get too close to them because of fear that she will get to know the true person that he is hiding and continues to hide all throughout the relationship or marriage.
Women, for the most part, become the women they are because of the insecure, immature, undeveloped men that they have allowed to take up root, up space in their lives. Through each experience and every encounter, a woman had to pull herself together and keep herself together for the sake of survival and for the sake of the survival of her children. A woman does not have time to sit around and lick their wounds because there are things that has to be done, children to feed, and bills to be paid. Men know that women are stronger than them and that is where the problem lies.
Men bully women, verbally and physically abuse women in the homes and in the public sector. I stopped going anywhere with my ex-husband early on in the marriage because he always did things that embarrassed me. Approximately one month after we were married, we attended a marriage reception for one of his friends and met at his friend’s parents’ house. All of the people there were his friends and I knew none of them. Ask me if I was introduced properly and attached to him (as newlyweds) the entire time at the house? No, I was not! In fact, he left me completely alone with a bunch of strange people who saw me and treated me as an outsider, so that he could flirt all around the group in all of the women faces.
Then the wedding party decided to go to a club to celebrate and my ex-husband and I went as well, along with my brother who was spending the weekend with us on that particular weekend. At the club, my ex-husband had a partial dance with me, ignored me totally, and danced and was loud with all the other women at the club on that night. I was uncomfortable because I did not hang out at clubs. My brother saw what was happening, I was embarrassed that he saw this coming out of my new marriage. He even asked why wasn’t my ex-husband dancing with me.
Then there was the time when my ex-husband planned a movie date with another one of his friends and his friend’s fiancé’. I got all dressed up, had my sister-in-law to babysit and welcomed his friend with his fiancé at our home awaiting the arrival of my ex-husband who never showed. His friend waited well over an hour. Another embarrassing moment. And there were many more early on in the marriage. One day I just decided that I was having no more of this because the type of behavior that he displayed was not what I was all about and I refused to be placed in compromising, embarrassing situations.
It was situations such as these that made me the woman that I am today. From my ex-husband and other negative men who were verbally abusive and always wanting to have the upper-hand over a woman because of their insecurities. This is the reason for so many women choosing to live alone. They refuse to be beaten down anymore by insecure men who they are living with and say that they love them. It is those men who have lots of issues. They even carry this same mindset with them away from the household.
There are men in the workforce, with their insecurities, that try to intimidate women all the time. Verbally abuse them and embarrass them to keep them in their place, so to speak. This is the mindset of those insecure men. It is difficult for many women to get ahead in life due to the men who continuously hold them back because of their lack of drive, strength, and the fear that they have within them of failure.
There are the insecure men that also say that if I cannot have you then no one else will. It really doesn’t matter if that man has a wife or not. Many men just see a woman who is outspoken, independent, and have the capabilities to stand on her own and this puts anger and fear into that man. For some ungodly reason, this man actually believe that the woman is taking something away from him. But can’t no lone take anything away from you that you really possess.
My ex-husband brutally beat me in my face in hopes that he would disfigure me, but the LORD put it all back together again. Praise God!! He was going to make dam well sure that no other man would look twice at me because he knew that he could not be the man that I deserved to be with due to his insecurities.
Before a man will take inventory of himself and see what he is lacking and what needs to be improved in his life, he will take out all of his insecurities on the woman/women in his life which is unfair to society. Woman have so much to offer to make this world a better place to live in. Men just need to step back and stop hindering progress in this world. Stop holding women back, it only shows your weakness when you do so. If a man is really true within himself, then he would admit that the woman has much more power and strength to accomplish the hardest things in life. All they need to do is look at their own mothers. It is their mother who actually ran that household and got things moving and shaking.
Therefore, men, it is time to let go and let the women move up into the leadership roles that she does so well. Stop holding women down. It is not a good character trait for you as a manly man. What is your problem? Yes, you do have a problem if you cannot allow a woman to lead. You have some serious issues.
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